I’ve been keeping a diary of some kind for as long as I can remember myself.

The ones that I had as a teen are probably long gone.

But since I discovered Moleskines, I started keeping them.

There are a bunch of these old Moleskines on a bookshelf in my apartment. I brought them to Berlin with me. Although it was hardly capable of deciphering my handwriting, I couldn’t make myself throw them away.

There are also tons of files on my computer scattered across different apps.

Evernote, Obsydian, SimpleNotes, DayOne, Google Docs, Ulysses, Notes… I used them all.

So recently I embarked on a journey of re-visiting everything and putting all of my notes together in a single archive.

Not that I think they would be interesting for anyone to read… Just for my own pleasure.

Although at the beginning, I thought it would be quite unpleasant.

I vividly remember my feelings when I tried re-reading my notes after two-three-five years since they had been written.

IT WAS TORTURE.

Style. Remarks. Ideas… Everything seemed odd and awkward. Poorly phrased. Naive. Missing the mark. Pure stupid.

Now I’m reading the same notes and find them quite interesting. Smart. Well-written. On point. There are some really good ones there, actually!

It turns out, if you look at yourself from a distance, it’s much much much easier to accept yourself.

I think I’ll have to remember that - for the next time I start thinking that I am not good enough, not smart enough, not elegant enough…

Maybe I am already enough.

Highly likely you are as well.